


Oh, and I’ll be waiting when you get frustrated

by roseslotusvioletiris



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, Slow Burn, post 7x07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 14:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21448048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseslotusvioletiris/pseuds/roseslotusvioletiris
Summary: Post 7x07. Jay and Hailey take a ride.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	Oh, and I’ll be waiting when you get frustrated

Voight sent Hailey home after their talk. She ignored the blatant stares of her fellow Intelligence members as she grabbed her things, wanting to get out of the building as quickly as possible. 

She couldn’t help but keep an eye on Voight’s office though, where Jay went in right after she left. They must be talking about her, and she wasn’t sure how that made her feel. Because even though Jay was reaching out to Voight out of concern for her, the fact it was being done without her present made her uncomfortable. 

Regardless, once she was done getting her stuff situated, she headed downstairs. She wasn’t going to hang around and ask Jay what was discussed. She’d do it later. 

What she was refusing to acknowledge was her fear that Jay saw Cam’s death as her fault like Voight did. It was one thing to have Voight’s words on her shoulders, another to have Voight and Jay’s. 

“Hailey?” 

She grabbed her hat from her bag and pulled it down over her head, making sure to cover her ears. The sky was now dark, she hadn’t realized that much time had past since they started their paperwork. 

“Hailey?” 

Hand on the doorknob, Hailey turned back around as she heard Trudy call her name. The sergeant’s face was full of concern and sympathy that Hailey couldn’t bring herself to walk out the door just yet. She stood there, waiting to hear what Trudy had to say. 

“You’re a damn good cop, Upton.” She told her, shuffling through paperwork. “You’ll get through this.” 

Hailey nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Trudy Platt was the reason she became a cop, with her current state of vulnerability she just couldn’t talk to her. 

When she stepped outside though, she let the words sink it. I’m a good cop. I’ll get through this. Deep breath. 

And when was Trudy Platt ever wrong? 

The burden was slowly lifting from her shoulders until she remembered why she felt down about herself. Cameron was dead, and no amount of positive self-talk would bring him back. It felt silly to try to make herself feel better, when there was someone in the ground because of her. 

The frigid weather brought her some peace. At least mentally, as physically the coldness was a bit much to bear. A part of her felt like she deserved it though, as if freezing was punishment for her mistakes. 

Regardless, she zipped her coat all the way up. Getting sick was a bitch, and it wasn’t worth it. She could picture herself now, stuck in bed self-loathing. 

The walk to her car took longer than usual because of the ice on the ground. She already had her keys out by the time she got to her car and was about to get in until she heard footsteps behind her.

Her heart thumping with adrenaline, Hailey whirled around with her hand going towards her gun. Once she saw who it was though she let it hang limply against her side. 

“You could have said my name instead of spooking me like that.” She said dryly. 

Jay at least had the decency to look guilty. “Sorry.” 

“You couldn’t have finished your paperwork that quickly.” She pointed out, eyeing the brightly lit Intelligence room on the second floor. Everyone else was still there, bent over their desks. 

“I didn’t.” The expression that she had just seen on Trudy’s face was now on Jay’s. 

Frustration got the best of her then. Yes, she she had her CI killed right in front of her. She would fully admit she was struggling right now, but having her co-workers treat her like a piece of glass was not acceptable. “I don’t need a babysitter, Jay.” She snapped, yanking her car door open. 

Before she could get in, Jay grabbed ahold of her arm. “No, you don’t.” He agreed. “But I think you need a friend.” 

The intensity of his voice had her turn back around to face him. His blue eyes held nothing but sincerity. She must have misjudged him earlier—Jay wasn’t the type to pity her. 

“I’m not up for drinking tonight.” She admitted, the words feeling silly as they left her mouth. It seemed like the only activity they did outside of work was drinking and chatting at one of their houses. Turning their typical pastime down made her feel like she was committing a crime. 

Jay shrugged, seeming unbothered. “Perfect. I already had plans for us.” 

Surprised by his words, Hailey was distracted enough that she had too late of a reaction to Jay reaching out and grabbing her keys. 

She started to splutter. The past few minutes seemed like a whirlwind to her. She didn’t expect Jay to show up at all and now he was planning on driving her car! 

After he got in the driver’s seat, he gave her a look. “Do you really want to drive?” 

She bit her tongue at that, stopping whatever words were about to exit her mouth. He knew her well. Driving was something she always enjoyed, except if it was snowing. She was Chicago born and raised, but driving in the winter was always dreaded by her. 

He started up her car. She walked over to the passenger side, wondering where he was taking her. As she got in the car, she asked him. “Where are we going then?”

Jay didn’t reply, instead focusing on backing out of the parking spot with her car. She was tempted to interrogate him, but put her feet up on the dashboard and leaned her head back. Might as well take advantage of Jay driving. 

“You shouldn’t have your feet up there.” Jay spoke right as she was closing her eyes. 

She opened them back up to glare at him. Despite claiming he was here as a friend he was being incredibly nagging. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” He didn’t even have to look at her to know. “Cruz and Herrmann were just talking about last week a woman who had her legs crushed from them being on the dashboard.”

At that reminder Hailey slowly put her feet back down. The story had completely slipped her mind, she was right next to Jay when Cruz and Herrmann were discussing the incident. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jay smirking. 

“Is this your plan then?” She questioned, taking notice of their outside surroundings. They weren’t taking either of the familiar routes to their respective homes. “Driving around aimlessly, wasting my gas?”

“Tempting idea, but I’ll stick to my plan.” Jay replied. He finally took a turn onto another road after it seemed like forever going straight. 

The distraction of both Jay and their little unknown adventure from her emotions was slowly slipping away. Guilt and grief replaced it, feeling even heavier than before. Letting herself forget about what happened today made her feel worse than the actual event itself. Doing so was like attributing it to something as mundane as forgetting to respond to a text message. 

Jay’s voice broke into her thoughts. “Hating yourself won’t bring him back, Hailey.” 

Damn did he know her well. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, as if Jay could hear everything she was thinking. It sure seemed like that at times with their relationship. 

“I know, it’s just—“ Hailey squinted her eyes at the luminous McDonald’s sign in front of her. Jay must have turned into the fast food restaurant when she was zoned out. “Very funny, Jay.” She rolled her eyes. She has hated McDonald’s ever since she got food poisoning from their chicken nuggets when she was eight. He knew this, so why would he bring her here? 

Her belief that he was joking quickly went away as he approached the drive through. “Don’t worry, we aren’t getting chicken nuggets.” Before she could question him further, the McDonald’s employee’s voice came through the intercom. 

“I’ll have two cones, please.” Jay said his order, and when the employee confirmed it, drove forward. He didn’t have to go far because there was another car still in front of him waiting for their order. 

“Ice cream?” Hailey scrunched up her nose. It was twenty degrees outside, not prime weather for a cold treat. 

“The ultimate comfort food.” He told her as they approached the window. 

She wasn’t so sure, but kept quiet as he paid. Today’s events had her in a bad mood and despite how tempting it was, she didn’t want to use Jay as a punching bag. 

She was trying, but knew she wasn’t great company. Everything Jay had said has been met with an eye roll or a face from her. He didn’t deserve that. “I’m sorry.” She voices aloud as he handed her her cone. “I’ve been a bitch ever since we left the police station—“

“Hailey.” Jay cut her off with a shake of his head. “You’re acting like a saint compared to when I’m in my moments of crisis.” 

Well she couldn’t argue against that. Jay was a piece of work when he was in a bad mood. Still, she had to let him know her appreciation. “Thanks for being here with my bitchy ass, though.” 

He rolled his eyes, presumably at the derogatory words she called herself, but didn’t comment on them. “Anytime.” 

She started to eat her ice cream cone, hesitantly as she was still warming up from being outside. Her car took what it seemed like lifetimes to properly heat up. But as her tongue touched the ice cream and the vanilla sweetness hit her tastebuds, she had to agree with Jay. Ice cream was the ultimate comfort food. 

She was focusing on enjoying her cone, but out of the corner of her eye noticed Jay. He wasn’t eating his cone yet. Instead he was watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Jay then lifted his cone into the air and held it there. Hailey rose an eyebrow, perplexed at his behavior. 

He let out a sigh of exasperation, but the fondness in his eyes said a different story. “We’re raising a toast to Cameron,” He explained. When she rose her own cone, he added, “and you.” 

He mimed cheering with her right before she yanked her cone back down. “Celebrating me, the cause of his death?” She said distastefully, looking at the cone in her hand as if it was the gun that shot Cameron. 

“No, celebrating a damn good cop who tried her hardest to help Cameron.” He corrected her. “You got Cameron involved because you thought he could help the case. He was the one who put himself at risk, and you tried to get him out.” 

Hailey wanted to believe what Jay was saying, but it was hard to. She knew what Cameron was like with cases before she asked him. Ultimately it all led back to her. 

“If I didn’t get him involved he would still be alive.” She pointed out.

Jay shook his head, not giving up his argument. “If he didn’t show up at the police station he would still be alive.” He countered back.

Hailey pulled her last card out. “Voight said it’s on me, Jay. He was my CI, I brought him in. Case closed.” 

Jay frowned at that. “Screw what Voight said.” He was about to continue eating his cone, but stopped. “Don’t tell him I said that.” He added with a grimace. 

Despite her mood Hailey couldn’t help but snort. Jay was Voight’s unofficial second in command and been in Intelligence for years, long before her, and Voight still had a handle on him. 

Jay made a face. That only made a full blown laugh escape her. “Okay, I’m not scared of him.” He protested, talking louder over her laughs. “I just know I can’t be on his bad side.” 

“Well I can’t disagree with that.” She gave him a smile. It was the first real one she had given ever since Cameron was shot right in front of her. 

When he gave her one back, Hailey felt a rush of affection run through her. If she had it her way, she would have already been home self-wallowing. Jay bringing her here didn’t solve her pain and guilt, but made her remember that she was a bad cop or person. 

Her cone, now half-eaten, was back in the air again. 

This time Jay was the one confused. But unlike her, lifted his cone into the air without being prompted. “Are we toasting me now?” His grin was now a light cocky one. His eyes held curiosity though. 

Hailey refrained from giving him both a smart ass response and a meaningful one. Instead, she told him the truth. “No, myself.”

**Author's Note:**

> We all know Jay met up with Hailey after work! I just did my own interpretation of it. As always, I take prompts here and on my tumblr as @brettoniotrashcentral 
> 
> Fun fact: the lyric here is from dog years by Maggie Rogers too, a parallel line which is very fitting!


End file.
